Morning
Oliver wakes me up before sunrise. My thoughts are confused and mixing with my dream. He wants to play. Normally I get up with him, but today I'm too tired from feeding puppies out of a syringe all night long and from waking up in a panic - checking to see if my dog is still alive. I hold his ankle while he plays so he can't crawl off the bed.
But now it is time to make sure Besita eats. I cook her eggs in the microwave, but she won't eat them. Enoc makes her puppy formula with a raw egg, but she won't eat it. He syringes it into her mouth anyway. In the meantime, I am bathing, dressing, and feeding our little wiggleworm. We both grump about the impossibilty of keeping our house clean under present circumstances. I look at the dirty dishes in the sink, the dirty clothes on the floor, the uneaten dog food all over the place and want to laugh or cry, but am not sure which. I feed all five puppies with a syringe again, and feel guilty for keeping Besi away from her babies. I check Besi's tummy and her fever seems to be going away. Oliver goes down for a nap, Enoc leaves for school, and I get showered and dressed. It's amazing how much looking nice can boost your spirits!
The Kassmobile
Enoc insists that I leave the house and take a break. I decide to get a little Christmas shopping done. I take my cousin Kassi with me. Kassi has her learner's permit, so I let her drive. I watch in horror and with a death grip on my "Oh SH**" handle as we almost rear-end a car, almost run over a tree, cut several people off, and swerve in and out of our lane like a drunkard. This was Kassi's first time driving on a busy highway.
I feel paranoia trying to creep its way in while I'm Christmas shopping. Is Besita okay? I have to remind myself that my mom and my husband are there with her and the puppies.
Evening
I'm home and we're back to our exhausting shuffle of feeding puppies; vigilantly monitoring Besi; and chasing, feeding, soothing, and playing with Oliver. Besita seems to be doing much better. Her fever is down and her gums are a healthy pink. But I don't trust it. The image of her having seizures and almost dying in my arms Friday night has seared itself into my brain. I know now how quickly and how without warning this can happen. For at least the hundredth time I think that if this rollercoaster ride doesn't come to an end soon, I'm going to lose my mind.
3 comments:
What happened to your poor dog?! It's bad enough taking care of a baby, but puppies too? I hope your dog is doing better and that you're getting more sleep! If not, we can just have another girls night so you don't loose your mind :).
Thanks for commenting on my blog about that talk by Elder Nelson. Maybe it was a little over the top, but i'm getting really tired , that are members of the church, that keep saying how great Obama is. How is life though? How are the puppies doing?
Wow, what a day. I'm so sorry Tiffy! If I lived closer I'd come help or come chat with you and keep you company. I hope things get better soon. I'll be thinking of you!
KISSES!
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